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shitty day
Thursday. 1.20.05 5:08 pm
blah! so yeah i get out of my warm bed, mess up my kitty sleeping with me, and go get ready at frickin 5 AM this morning to go do shit i didn't even wanna do!!! i got yelled at for nothing 3 times today and then the peoples didn't say anything about it! went to swim and everyone made fun of me for something!!! and now im in a bad mood cuz i don't want school tomorrow!! on top of that i have to swim in the meet tomorrow and i don't want to! well i do but i dont.... get that? blahhhhhhhh!!!!! oh well.... im going to breakfast tomorrow at 6. maybe that will make me better.... maybe
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Cool Quotes
- Be kind, for everyone you meet, is fighting a harder battle
-give me a reason to smlie, I'll give you a reason to cry. Give me a reason to live, I'll give you reason to die.
-ppl who have never come close to seeking death dont understand its promise of an end to lifes struggles. they dont understand the precarious teeter-totter on which a suicidal person balances, shuffling reasons to live and reasons to die back and forth to avoid hitting bottom. they dont understand that when ur that low, its the little things that send u over the edge...not the big things. and sometimes it the littlest things that keep you going, too.
-the best you can do in life is not piss yourself off
-i live in a divided self. one of me is smiling, the other gorging and crying.
-loneliness. its a thing...not a feeling. a big ugly thing that moves in and takes over until you forget how to live with out it, but u cant live with it, either
My Addictive Songs
With This Knife
With this knife im undoing all the bad,
With this knife im feeling less mad,
With this knife im becoming happy,
With this knife im becoming me,
With this knife everything becomes clear,
With this knife there is no more fear,
With this knife my life gets better,
With this knife my hand gets steadier,
With this knife im letting the anger show,
With this knife im about to let go,
With this knife im leaving you,
With this knife im letting the feelings through.
Alone
No one can see the pain that we hide,
They're happy for us to keep it inside,
Our fear is our own; they don't want to know,
Why should we involve them; why should it show.

You live your whole life in confusion and fear,
The need to feel something unbearably near,
Half of you living, Half of you gone,
And inside you know what your doing is wrong.

The thing's that can help, the thing's that may heal,
Are the flame or the blade and the sting of the steel,
The destruction of skin means the death of your soul,
But there's nowhere to run when you’re stuck in a hole.

"If. What a word"

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